...and I am left with the stamp of looser

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCmOWYbmr4k

If I skip the story about packing suitcase for at least 6 hours ( I was going only for 5 days) and 5 different outfits for the trip only…..after missing a bus to the airport and being twice closed between the door trying to entrance the bus (and I am quite intelligent you would say)…..I graciously sway to the airport. Everybody know I love airports. So I decide to absorb the aroma first. After enough observing If some handsome guys are in sight….no, not the one sitting next to me on the bench trying to beg all my ciggarets out of me. He was crosseyes, lisp and was babbling something about me and Mona Lisa being sisters…..ok, time for me to go check the flight....I politely smiled and left. 6 huge screens with flights that covers almost all day and only 1 flight cancelled. MINE ofcourse. Fatalisticly I walked through the whole airport to get to the right stand to find out why and what are my options. Group of people was already yelling at those poor girls behind check-in and I was trying to catch the point. Nothing drastical….Brussels airport has decide the only day I want to fly would be the bet time to throw two days strike and no planes would take off or land. Maybe they knew I was coming so it would be better not to let me and prevent catastrophy that I may cause with my clamsyness.My only option would be to fly to Amsterodam…which was temting at first I have to say…but I would have to wait 8 hours and still no sure I could get in (loving stand-by) I would get there so late at night, that I thought to myself that getting at night to a country without accommodation or anybody I know would be too much adventure for me after all.



So I gave up, turned and went back to the city. Thought ok I can't go home now, I am too disappointed. (I should have do that!)Went to a spa instead….but the Jacuzzi didn' t wash my sad feeling of the day away so I thought maybe a nice movie would cheer me up.



With all that laguagge I had with me I patter to a cinema and asked for a ticket to Mamma Mia! (nice musical should do it) …..

"Only one ticket?" the boy asked me.

'Yes,only one."I replied.

"You going alone?" like he couldn't believe it.

"Yes I am going alone!"my voice sounded tense.



Like I would be an alien to go to cinema alone in the early afternoon. I just took the ticket and went to an empty cinema. Well, for my good feeling I was not completely alone…there were two cuddling couples…on my both sides (I blame the ticket boy he placed them there so I wont feel so lonely) and an old lady in front. Great. I am total looser I thought to myself and tried to enjoy the movie. Even thought the songs were nice and catching the whole concept of a movie was a disaster and I was playing with the idea to leave in the middle. (Ok, I could not do that….end up alone in the cinema and leave in the middle….that would be it!) When the torture of two hours of ignoring the couples biting their heads off next to me was over I wanted to go home. Sadly for me that was not over.......My handbag broke the moment I was picking it up from the ground. So with the suitcase….plastic bag and handbag under my arm…totally exhausted covered with bags like a christmas tree with lighbowls I was trying to find the shortest way to the subway.

I felt really lucky I got all there in one piece…..grabbed the first empty seat and was blindly starring at that handsome dude opposite of me hidden behind sunglasses. I thought he liked me too……but we wont find that out cause when the lady said after like 15 minutes : "Next station Dejvice" I was like…shit…it didn't supriced me anymore….I went the opposite direction. All the way to the end….with the line I am using every single day. That is really incredible. Hash hash I took all my bags…hit the door and jump out of a train like it would explode If I stayed in. Well, maybe I would feel like Sandra Bullock in Speed movie.In my case I could have been more like Mr.Been! Went back my direction….waited another hour for bus I would catch If I choose the correct direction at first.



And the story with leaning my body at the boy sitting next to me on a bus that smelled oh so nice and I was shocked that after day like that I could get actually turned on only by sitting next to unobtrusively male with nice perfume…I will skip. Cause this boy was not only nice smelling and following me all my way home….he also turned out to be my neighbor who lives above me and we totally hate each other since he thinks I am snob bitch and I think he is drunk and loud asshole…and we usually shout at each other through walls at nights.


I closed the door….sit down still holding all my bags….and there it was…words in my head with the lovely melody....



I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all


I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all....

Tears were running down my cheeks...tears of reliefe that MAYBE I finally came to a sence.
The words were everywhere…..and I realized….there is no point in running away….cause it will go with me everywhere I go. And there is a reason I should be in a place I am right now….home!