Puck With No Preservatives

August 09, 2008

.......Loving Lies



They say that in love and war everything is allowed. Does that count when it comes to lies? What you should and should not tell when you want your relationship to start or survive? Sometimes we need to use a little of steamroller tactics. I picked 4 men and placed them into 4 little example stories.




Like a Virgin


You just got out of relationship that lasted few years, because he finded someone new. Your selfconfidence is on ground zero. You desperately needed to experience the feeling how amazing and wonderful you are and irressistable again so you hit couple of bars and got into bed with everyone that looked little bit capable. But now you have met guy you wouldn't want to loose. First date you have been talking to wee hours about everything and anything, On second you end up in bed and it was a storm!You even had orgasm together. But afterwards he just btw dropped the question how many sexual partners did you have?

He substituted you so much you started to babble something like ehmm ahhh not that many……that when you come to think about it…the first one didn' t get through…the second didn't know how and nobody else really happened.

OK…only totally unexperinced guy would fall for that. Guy who collected couple of experience on love making art would never believe you and he will even get offended that you don' t want to tell him the truth. BUT on the other side specific number of your loving partners could knock him down, right?

It is interesting fact, that while women are ashamed of how many lovers they had, therefore they lowering their number….man boast with theirs "scalps" and even with those that they never had! Simply they are machos that no girl can resist….




You are the BEST!


You always cruised around each other. The chemistry was so strong you could get electric shock every time your eyes met. Still some mysterious way you managed to keep your decorum. Until eventually at your friend BBQ party you couldn't resist any longer and you end up in attic…wildly kissing…clothing flying everywhere and finally you find yourself lying on the floor (bed was too far) in passionate clinch. It seemed perfect. Only that after couple of moves it was over. You obviously realizing that there is a fly on a window and that top wall need to be painted. You feel strongly tricked and disappointed that climbing into heaven is not gonna happen. Because you don' t wanna hurt his feelings…loudly groan few times and bend in your back. As a bonus you whisper to his ear that he was perfect and that he totally got you…

Maybe you think..common it was the first time, we don' t know each other that good yet, it will be better. But what If you will have a repete and it will end up the same? Will you play him little theater again? Or you better leave and never come back? If you fake orgasm, you will do the favor for his ego but also you place yourself into a theater actress role that you never get rid of. Try to lead him and If he is not selfish fella …..he'll understand….




Football! I LOVE IT!


And here it comes. You fallen head over heels for this guy. You love him so much you would eat him. You kissing him, cuddling him, don' t letting him off your sight. Where he goes…you go. You' re like his shadow. He loves summer festivals? You always wanted to experience the festival atmosphere. He plays for local football team? You cannot imagine more exciting afternoon then supporting your darling on a football field and yelling at referee to buy a glasses. He enjoys eating at fast foods? Sure who needs classy restaurant when you can stand side by side enjoying grease food together?

So while your darling having great time doing all these activities, because it really is his hobby, you are soon to realize that at festival you are like in a bowl, fat beer stinking bold guys are rub against you everywhere you move…that on dedane you sitting like a chicken, watching game that you find boring and while eating in fast foods you feel really sick afterwards and you don' t even have chance to enjoy the feeling of proper meal since you eat it fast (fast food,right?) and you would prefer nice restaurant where you can sit and enjoy your meal. But you can' t bring yourself to say all that to your darling, because after all you just want to be with him at least for a while no matter what are you doing.

It is not smart to get hung up on a guy and follow him everywhere he goes. Every man needs his freedom, and space and moment they feel they lost it…usually they solve it the only way they know (no they would not sit down and explain to you what they need) they would just leave.

Can you really imagine that week after week spending your free time by doing things you don't enjoy?

That you can be such a good actress he would not notice that his single male friends accompany you everywhere you move and you fed up with that or that you really enjoy classical bar more then festival simply judged by the grin on your face?

It' s better to tell him the truth…that you like him and wanted to spend some time with him but there are other things that you enjoy more and not everythime you happy to follow only his schedule. I am sure he'll understand! (right, haha)




But, I respect you


Friends were making fun of you, your parents were unhappy that you'll never get married because you were single for too long. But you are not anymore. You met this guy, you were dating few times and it looks it could work out. You cannot concentrate on anything because youre mind is occupied all the time with dreams how it will look like when you see him again. Counting the days from your last date, and hypnotizing your phone constantly when HE will call again. And when he finally does and says he would like to see you, but unfortunately he has only one hour and you have to go all over Prague to meet him, because he has important meeting and cannot go to far…you drop everything from your hands…leave everything the way it is and jump into a first taxi. You would drive the whole world, let yourself being shoot to the Moon..…simply anything to spent sime time with him. And If you are lucky the date will happen (he can also let you know last minute that he has to cancel since something else came up, and you have tu turn, pay all the way in cap back and finish your stuff back home salten up with tears of dissapointment and humiliation).

During the whole date you are swallowing every single word he says, can' t stare enough at him, and ready to make all his dreams come true…

It looks you really love him, and that is alright of course.

But what about him? Is he interested? Or he is just enjoying you are jumping as he whisle? It is good not to be available everytime he calls. It is not easy but try it. When he calls and set the meeting you unfortunately don' t have time. You would want to go there and there. He can't? You are very sorry but you had another plans, but still If he likes to join you he is welcome….ect. You figure out how to escape and still show interest. If he is interested….it shows.





I am sure every girl find herself in one of those 4 situation at least once. Of course there are more then 4, but I think this is enough. We have to go easy on guys, not wanting them to break down,right?:)



After all we live and learn, and even though we are not happy once it happens to us...after some time we realize, that the only thing we can do is laugh. Cause it is funny.

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