Few days ago I remembered how I use to see mothers with children. I was 20 and I had way too much selfconfidence. Those women were so far away from me, kind of like aliens. They were in rush all the time, running late everywhere, falling asleep during meetings, they returned 3 times back to the office basically forgetting the basic things, anxiously searching in theirs huge handbags while diapers and cookies were most frequent things they have found there. In the evening they never went with us to any party. They were working well, they just didn’ t enjoy it as deep as we did. We were willing to sleep in the office, they were nervously watching clock running home as soon as they had a chance.

I was just silly and naïve bimbo. If they thought I am arrogant, I could not blame them. What impression do I make today?

First of all: I often look like walking zombie! Getting up every day latest at 6:30. Me… who hardly ever got out of sheets before eleven during weekends. I haven’ t slept for 5 years now. 5 yearss!!!!!!

My life can be described as hunting the time. Also as switching only two chanels … kid ...work…kid…work. I am home with her, but they calling me from work that some highly important package didn’ t arrive into its destination and I am suppose to fix that. Before I realize who is the person on the phone I am trying to update my memory and put it onto the sence. He must think I am crazy!

Where is my book with notes, names, phone numbers…dammit. Where is it?! Got it…hurray…at the same moment I am noticing that my child just climbed on the window or that is dangerously hanging on the playground swing. Where is my concentration? Or I am trying to use my force to get frozen fish out of freezer, phone is getting ridiculously prolonged and I am running out of time that I promised myself I will take to sit down and draw horses or put together car races in the middle of living room with my child.
That’s the most important, but also I cant leave and not prepare any lunch (and dinner at once) for my babyssiter to give to my child.

I will be late again for a meeting! And I didn’ t finish my translations yet. OH laundry is still in the washmachine. And what I wanted to wear is not ironed. Dammit. Phone again. This time not as pleasant one, person on the other line is screaming at me and I am trying to explain to him details while my child is yelling: “Mamiiiiii ,don’ t be on the phone…..mamiiiiii!” while hugging my leg.
On the meeting I am trying to find something nervously in my huge handbag. Of course without any luck, instead the floor hit plastic toy and cookies. After 20 minuts I got to feel last night when I didn’ t get much sleep cause little one has cough and even thought I am trying my best…my head is climbing and my eyes are closed. Coleage handed me over a natural coffein pill, it will kick you back to alive mode ..…he said.
He was looking at me kindly…..or did I see in his eyes something about aliens????