°Prague Princess Photography

Monday

Its obvious….I am missing sex. Everybody now and then has an erotic dream, but I have them quite often lately and the one I had today, that was really something! I had no idea what sexual fantasies I am capable of. Cold shower did help a bit, but for how long? And because I have no intention to spend the rest of my life in the shower, I have decided to buy myself a battery operated device…aka dildo. I guess it's a shame I still don't have one at my age. Since I am kind of shy I have decided to drag a friend of mine with me.


Tuseday

I looked really hot today, but of course I didn't meet the golf guy (that remembers me or with a shit on my shoe or my mascara running down my face). I meet him probably when truck will hit me or something else hilarious will be happening to my face. And why do I even care? I bet he's just a player who uses golf just to higher up his ego. And who knows what else he is busting up. But I wont need you guys anymore cause tomorrow I am going to buy myself a dildo ! HA!


Wednesday

Got him and he is really sexy! After quite long deciding – I never had so many dicks in my hand – finally won the silikon perfect sized and coloured one. When I had that perfection vibrating in my hand, saleswoman palm his glans and proclaim that he is really a "minion". Truth is, while I was paying for that perfect minion I was like WHOA but just to be sure I pack whole box of rechargable batteries.



Thursday

My friend was texting me since morning how was it last night and how many orgasms did I get? None, because I am sissy! I was all set up and then I thought how stupid this is and gave up. But I have a plan: Saturday I buy two bottles of bubbles and when I will be in the mood I jump on it, I swear!


Friday

I have awesome mood! Of course I met my ex in the morning with some bugger wretch poor looking girl and his eyes almost pooped out. No wonder I was wearing my perfect fit coat and skirt with high heels…..10cm minimum (which use to drive him crazy in good old days). When he babbled out 'HI' ….I just noded him back and with the amile on my face and feeling of absolute victory I left him to that little grey mouse he was walking with. He can wrest his hair now, nitwit !


Saturday evening

Taking long bath and drinking champagne. After the bath I moved my heated up body naked to the bedroom. Still sipping on a champagne with my eyes closed I was touching my lap and face with "minion". When I felt pleasant and intensive tingling, impatiently I slide him between my legs…


Sunday

I am the biggest nana that can exist! I mean seriously, after 10 years of my sexual life, when I had guys more then enough I had never experience such a ride like I did with my perfect minion. First time I enjoyed four orgasms and for the first time I didn't have to answer the stupid and vain question: Did you come? How was I ?

Person who think out dildo….. I would gave him Nobel Price!

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

~Woody Allen~

I was planning for so long to go and see Sex and the city but instead of going to cinema and see it which would be much smarter to do……I was living my own Sex and the City!


And it was great ya know.....it included Mr.Big for sure, my new cute sexi outfit, high heel shoes, a lot of sex, wine from paper cup (ok ehm ehm) , gay parade (BIG TIME) and a lot a lot of drama!

OK maybe it was not all that fabolouse....cause I choose the worst possible background for it.

Month after successful break-up.....first two weeks of strong and confident myself that on my own I do much much better....came the typical break down phase of wasted night....so drunk that any sailor would be proud of me (and did things no one would be proud of), flirting with few guys (which made me feel much better at first and really bad after), changing my hair colour (which led to make me look like a chipmunk <- this is actually a fun part) and driving all my friends nearly to craziness (but they are all so supportive and I love them for that) I have found myself sitting yet again at his apartment. (which led to lifted eyebrows of some and kick in my azz from others) Like if I didnt talk about it in "Ill never give you up itch" blog post before,right?

To my defense I have to say I went there purely to pick up my stuff, which of course does not explain why I stayed for next four days. And sounds pretty much just as an excuse to get laid. And turn out it was. His or mine that does not matter. I have been honestly nagging myself deep down inside the whole time that I am so gonna be sorry for doing this to myself....and of course I was. But I could not force myself to leave. You know when guys do those puppy eyes and kiss you and your knees go weak and you think....ok maybe it wont be that bad? But then he switch and you know you got tricked once again?!
Am I self destructive person who search for the source of pain, that gonna be served to me drop by drop till I fall apart completely?

We always give such a good advises to our friends but when it come down to us....we do exactly what we should not! And what is worst? We know it is wrong and we still do it!

After four days I got finally yank out of my own illusions!! Well of course I didn't find out what I want....but I finally know what I don' t want!
And I really suck at arguing and making my point clear and loud....I have to work on that one more. haha

My point is....sometimes we just have to live through tought times by ourselves and our friends and find out our own answers and explanations instead of putting ourselves to vurnelable position we know we gonna be regretting later.

And sometimes it is better not to know anything!!!!

Turns out your ex will always stay in the EX BOX.....he cannot become fu*k buddy as he would like......cause emotions are involved......nor friend cause if you call him he thinks you want to get back at him.....nor party buddy cause he get jelouse when you flirt with others. Your ex will always be just ex......you can work out some sort of communication between, but you cannot label it.

There'll always be jelousy, or emotions, or chemistry, or bitter taste of hate to some extend.

But things are never black and white....sometimes they are grey.....and other times they shine like rainbow.

Next time I want Sex and the City......I am putting in the DVD, that's for sure!;)

He told me he knows,I might think he's crazy...caring on this way....calling me up in the middle of the night...but he's got something that just can't wait to stay.

He said:
I wish you were with me tonight....right here in my arms. It’s hard to put my mind to rest....not knowing where you are. The city lights have a thousand eyes....that follow in the stares...It’ s midnight now and I hope tonight I am dead.

Why did I say those words I said?
When I knew that they were wrong
That living look into your face
You were as good as gone.
I paid the price with only this....I need you to return
I don’t wanna lose you somewhere in the night
I don’ t wanna use you we should make it right
becouse that’s the way that it’s supposed to be.

I wonder what you are thinking of
I hope I am on your mind
You know I am crazy for you, babe
And I am the jealous kind.

So take away my doubts and fears....and tell me where you are

I can see now where you might grow tired ...Of dreams that don't come true
I can see where I have fallen short....Of the things I promised you
I can see now.....No love on your face
I must get used to seein' a stranger in my place.

You might think I'm desperate
But maybe I just might be
How can I convince you to see
Come on, baby, won't you take a chance with me?

As I walk down this busy street....I think about your leaving
How my life may never be the same...I know I should be planning ways
to enjoy this endless freedom.

Every night I turn the tv on
To break the sound of silence
For a while it takes you off my mind
Just when I feel over you reality surrounds me.

Darling, some prisons don't have walls
Your memory won't let me go at all
I found no way out since you've been gone
Some prisons don't have walls.

Few days ago I remembered how I use to see mothers with children. I was 20 and I had way too much selfconfidence. Those women were so far away from me, kind of like aliens. They were in rush all the time, running late everywhere, falling asleep during meetings, they returned 3 times back to the office basically forgetting the basic things, anxiously searching in theirs huge handbags while diapers and cookies were most frequent things they have found there. In the evening they never went with us to any party. They were working well, they just didn’ t enjoy it as deep as we did. We were willing to sleep in the office, they were nervously watching clock running home as soon as they had a chance.

I was just silly and naïve bimbo. If they thought I am arrogant, I could not blame them. What impression do I make today?

First of all: I often look like walking zombie! Getting up every day latest at 6:30. Me… who hardly ever got out of sheets before eleven during weekends. I haven’ t slept for 5 years now. 5 yearss!!!!!!

My life can be described as hunting the time. Also as switching only two chanels … kid ...work…kid…work. I am home with her, but they calling me from work that some highly important package didn’ t arrive into its destination and I am suppose to fix that. Before I realize who is the person on the phone I am trying to update my memory and put it onto the sence. He must think I am crazy!

Where is my book with notes, names, phone numbers…dammit. Where is it?! Got it…hurray…at the same moment I am noticing that my child just climbed on the window or that is dangerously hanging on the playground swing. Where is my concentration? Or I am trying to use my force to get frozen fish out of freezer, phone is getting ridiculously prolonged and I am running out of time that I promised myself I will take to sit down and draw horses or put together car races in the middle of living room with my child.
That’s the most important, but also I cant leave and not prepare any lunch (and dinner at once) for my babyssiter to give to my child.

I will be late again for a meeting! And I didn’ t finish my translations yet. OH laundry is still in the washmachine. And what I wanted to wear is not ironed. Dammit. Phone again. This time not as pleasant one, person on the other line is screaming at me and I am trying to explain to him details while my child is yelling: “Mamiiiiii ,don’ t be on the phone…..mamiiiiii!” while hugging my leg.
On the meeting I am trying to find something nervously in my huge handbag. Of course without any luck, instead the floor hit plastic toy and cookies. After 20 minuts I got to feel last night when I didn’ t get much sleep cause little one has cough and even thought I am trying my best…my head is climbing and my eyes are closed. Coleage handed me over a natural coffein pill, it will kick you back to alive mode ..…he said.
He was looking at me kindly…..or did I see in his eyes something about aliens????

Invitation with address of yours arrived, just like they use to do
I read those words...Only I know they came already yesterday.
Maledetta Primavera ended without any illusions at all
Now all my memories Iam trying to puzzle together
I coud not share a single tear....I swear I tried!

Once even crying weary...

Too little is left that would be worthed to talk about
And we thought it’s gonna last forever
We didn’ t need words to speak then....and we don’ t need them now

Yet again I was naïve and stupid cause I thought
you were mine unexpected Maledetta Primavera
Exctited that you gonna tie me down with passion
And I don’t seem to remember that it would really happened.

Softly is disappearing....bitternes from a lonely morning
How often days turning from nowhere to nowhere.
I am getting use to the fact,that you are not around anymore
I was lucky, it might have been much much worse.

I am curious, who will be the next that will tie me down with passion
And my Maledetta Primavera will welcome me into the heavens door.